You and me
添加时间:2014-10-28        浏览次数:

屈指数来,我当老师已经有10年,面对过无数的你

我和你之间不远也不近-------
  “老师,我家孩子从出生以来没有离开过我,她今天哭了多久?”
  “老师,我们家孩子很容易上火,请让她多喝一点水” 
  “老师,我们家孩子特别容易出汗,一运动就大汗淋漓。孩子出汗了,记得一定要及时擦汗!”
  “老师,今天早餐宝宝吃了吗?中餐吃了什么菜?下午茶吃了多少?”
  “老师,宝宝今天到底摔到哪里了?怎么会青了一大块?”
  “老师,宝宝今天回家说被小朋友欺负了,那个孩子到底是谁?你们老师看见了吗?” ------
  10年来我这样回答了你无数类似的提问。
  “没多久,你刚走她就没哭了!”
  “今天,她喝了很多水”
  “宝宝今天的饭都吃完了。”
  “不用担心,小孩子都是摔大的。”
  ------
  10个月的时间过去,太高兴啦!我也和你一样当了妈妈啦!我和你一样也有了贴心的宝贝。我和你之间,也发生了改变。

“老师,我家孩子从出生以来没有离开过我,她今天第一天上学,哭了多久?”
  我女儿7个月大时,我离开女儿去上班,虽然工作很忙,我还是时不时会想起:女儿在家会找我吗?找不到我会哭吗?奶奶会不会带女儿出去玩?奶奶会不会定时带女儿晒太阳?奶奶会不会忘记了冲奶粉?中午没见到我,女儿不睡觉怎么办?------
  现在我非常能理解你的感受,于是现在我对你这样说:“宝宝今天很舍不得妈妈,哭着要找妈妈,但是我们安排了一位老师专门陪伴宝宝,宝宝慢慢开始信任老师,愿意跟老师一起参与到班级的活动中来。今天妈妈也应该要表扬,虽然您很舍不得离开宝宝,但还是做了很理智的决定,相信我们的共同努力会让宝宝更快的喜欢我们,信任我们,和我们建立起依赖关系。”

“老师,天气干燥特别容易上火,一定要让我的孩子多喝一点水”
  女儿不愿意喝水,喉咙总容易发炎,导致咳嗽。一家人想方设法的制作各种饮品,就为了小丫头能多喝10毫升的水。
  现在我非常能理解你的感受,于是现在我这样对你说:“谢谢您的提醒,我们现在很关注孩子们喝水的情况。特别是不太爱喝水的孩子,我们一定会督促他们喝水的次数和每次喝水的量。如果您的孩子在家里习惯了某种味道的果汁,您可以带来幼儿园,我们帮孩子来调配------”

“老师,天气炎热孩子出汗特别多,一出汗就也很容易感冒,记得一定要及时擦汗!”
  有一次女儿感冒、发烧,整夜哭闹,一家大人一夜不能合眼,随时观察着孩子的体温变化。因为高烧,一家三口半夜赶到妇幼保健院挂急诊,轮流值班照顾宝宝。几天下来,宝宝面黄肌瘦,大人们也憔悴不堪。
  现在我非常能理解你的感受,现在我是这样做的:户外活动前,垫上汗巾,活动几分钟后帮孩子们脱掉外套,回到教室帮孩子们擦完汗,再穿回外套。午睡,小朋友穿一套长袖衣服睡觉,午睡起床,体温较低,给小朋友穿上外套。对于爱出汗的孩子,随时检查衣服是否汗湿,随时更换。

“老师,宝宝今天到底摔到哪里了?怎么会青了一大块?”
  女儿4个月从床上摔下来,看到虽然只有一个小小的红印,但还是有心痛的感觉,不停地自责为什么那么不小心。
  现在我非常能理解你的感受,我这样对您解释:“非常抱歉,今天外出活动时,宝宝被地上的石头绊了一下,摔倒在地上。老师马上就把宝宝带到了校医室检查了一下,并做了冰敷等处理。地上凸起的石块我们已经整理好。安全检查,我们一定会加强。您着急的心情,我们能理解。接下来几天,我们会带孩子进行一些化瘀的治疗,帮助孩子尽快恢复。同时,我们也会增加孩子的运动量,让孩子的身体协调性更好,能更好的保护自己。”

“老师,宝宝今天回家说被小朋友欺负了,那个孩子到底是谁?你们老师看见了吗?”
  现在我真的能够理解您,因为作为老师的我也会会因为听到奶奶告诉我:“宝宝胆子很大,比他大的小朋友的东西她也敢抢。”而沾沾自喜。谁也不愿意自己的孩子受别人欺负。

 这一切的改变只因为我以理解的态度去看待你的问题和要求。因为角色的改变,让我多了一种视角、换了一种角度去看问题,我开始尝试换位思考。当我跟你沟通的时候,我会站在妈妈的角度来理解你的心情。这样我跟你之间就没有对立、隔阂,我们有的只是共鸣。有了共同的感受之后,我更乐意也更快乐地配合你的需要。

 亲爱的老师们,年轻的你们可能还没有升级为神圣的母亲。但是如果我们都尝试着换位思考:“如果是我女儿不爱喝水怎么办?”“如果是我的儿子在幼稚园摔跤了怎么办?”。你会发现你跟家长们的关系会变得越来越融洽,家长们也会愿意支持你的各种决定,你的工作也会更加愉快!
  不信?从现在开始尝试!
                                    


You and me

I have been a teacher for ten years, and met many parents.
  The distance between us is not very near or far.
  “Teacher, my kid has never left me since he was born. How long did he cry today? ”
  “Teacher, my kid gets too hot easily. Please remind her to drink some water. ”
  “Teacher, my kid always sweats after sports. Please help him wipe away the sweat in time.”
  “Teacher, did my kid have breakfast? What did he eat for lunch? How much did he eat for afternoon tea? ”
  “Teacher, how did my kid get that bruise?”
  “Teacher, my kid told me that he was picked on by a bully. Who is that bully? Did you see it happen?”
  ------
  I answered countless similar questions during the ten years.
  “Not for long. She stopped crying after you left. ”
  “She drank a lot of water today.”
  “Your kid ate well today.”
  “Don’t worry. All kids have to experience it.”

  After ten months being pregnant, I was so happy to be a mother. Now I have a baby, and the relationship between us is changing.
  “Teacher, my kid has never left me since he was born. How long did he cry today?    
  I returned to work while my baby was seven months old. I worried about my daughter every now and then although I was busy: Did she miss me? Did she ask for me? Did grandma go out with the kid? Did grandma take the baby in the sunshine? Did grandma forget to give the baby milk? Can she take a nap without my company?
  Now that I completely understand your feeling, I answer your question in this way: “The kid cried for a while and we arranged a teacher to take care of him. Then he started to trust us and loved to participate in the activities. We should also praise you for you made an intellectual decision. I believe we can make the baby love and trust us, and establish a strong relationship with him.”    
  “Teacher, my kid gets too hot easily. Please remind her to drink water. ”
  My daughter doesn’t like drinking water and easily gets a sore throat and a cough. My family has tried various methods to get her to drink enough.
  Now that I completely understand your feeling, I answer your question in this way: “Thanks for reminding us, we have been concerned about this problem. Especially for children who don’t like drinking, we will keep a record of their drinking time and volume. If your child loves some fruit juice, you can bring it here, and we’ll prepare it for him.
  “Teacher, my kid always sweats after sports. Please help him wipe away the sweat in time.”
  Once my daughter got fever and cried for the whole night. No one in the family could sleep either, and we took her temperature from time to time. Then we took her to the hospital and gave her an emergency treatment for high fever. We took turns looking after her. All the family looked tired, and my daughter looked frail.
  Now that I completely understand your feeling, this is what I do: before outside activity, I put handkerchiefs on the children’s backs to absorb sweat. During playtime, we help children take off their coats. After going back to the classroom, we help the children wipe away sweat and put on the coats. During the noon nap, children wear clothes with long sleeves. We help them put on their coats after getting up when the temperature is low. We frequently check children’s clothes, especially  those who are apt to sweat. 
  “Teacher, how did my kid get that bruise?”
  My daughter once fell off the bed while she was four months old. My heart ached and I felt guilt for my irresponsibility although she wasn’t hurt.
  Now that I completely understand your feeling, I explain it to you in this way: “I’m sorry that your kid stumbled over a stone during outside activity. We immediately took him to the school infirmary. The doctor  checked him out and covered the bruise with ice. We have checked the raised stone and we promise to improve the safety check. We understand how you feel. In the following days, we will give him care and treatment to help him recover soon. Meanwhile, we will increase the amount of exercise to help him improve his coordination.”
  “Teacher, my kid told me that he was picked on by a bully. Who is that bully? Did you see it happen?”
  Now I completely understand your feeling, for my daughter has had a similar experience. Once grandma told me that my daughter was very brave to take an older kid’s things. I felt a little smug, because every mother hopes her child will never be picked on.
  I changed my attitude and become empathetic. When I changed my role, I had a new perspective. When I am communicating with you I can understand your feeling from a mother’s perspective. Now that we have no opposition or barrier, we have resonance. I am more willing to cooperate with you now that we have so much in common.
  Dear teachers, some of you might not be mothers. However, I suggest you try to gain empathy by thinking “What shall I do if my daughter doesn’t drink water?” or “What about if my son falls down?” Then you will find that you can get along well with parents, and parents love and support your various decisions. You will enjoy your work much more!
  Let’s try it, starting now.



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